Home Schooling

How I Became This, Part 4

Thursday, April 01, 2010

By Tyler

We moved from Surfer Town California, to Wyoming, and, more than that, we moved to Dyed-in-the-wool CowboyTown, Wyoming. More

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Comments

Clara commented on 01-Apr-2010 10:42 AM

You sure did turn out well. Thanks to your parents but also probably thanks to yourself too. I'm sorry you still have a loathing for humanity but I'm sure humanity doesn't have a loathing for you!

anonny commented on 01-Apr-2010 11:07 AM

Humanity's not worth loathing! Good writing, Tyler. Keep it up.

Chris commented on 01-Apr-2010 12:08 PM

Excellent article Tyler. You did turn out fine. Maybe even a notch higher than just plain old fine. Good luck and write more.

Joanne commented on 01-Apr-2010 01:25 PM

Thank you for writing this series Tyler. It is sobering. But it also makes me hopeful that there are young men like you. Good luck to you and I hope to read more of your writing.

Anonymous commented on 01-Apr-2010 04:29 PM

You are a wonderful young man and I wish you the best. Thank you for sharing your honest and thoughtful observations.

Tina Kar commented on 01-Apr-2010 04:46 PM

And you can write too! You forgot to add that to your A's and your fencing. Thanks for writing.

mom from denver commented on 02-Apr-2010 07:48 AM

Great piece. I hope more boys/young men speak out. Though it would be a mistake to think bullying necessarily happens more with boys than girls.

Caitlin commented on 05-Apr-2010 01:07 AM

I just read all four pieces and very much enjoyed them. Well, I didn't really enjoy but appreciated very much. You are a great guy Tyler and you write very well. Thank you for sharing your view. It is very important that guys like you tell the rest of us what it's like.

sparks commented on 06-Apr-2010 12:38 AM

This is a really good article. you are right tyler and I hope you write more.

Katie Rob commented on 06-Apr-2010 10:21 AM

Thank you again for these blogs, Tyler. Very interesting and eye opening. I really do hope you continue to write here.

Vicki commented on 06-Apr-2010 07:48 PM

And why were you trying your best to ignore the well-adjusted kids?! If you don't like well-adjusted people I have bad news for you: You have turned into one yourself! Keep writing!!!!!!

xxxxxxx commented on 07-Apr-2010 11:03 AM

Stick around Tyler....!!!!!

CA Mom commented on 10-Apr-2010 05:38 PM

Dear Tyler, thank you for these articles. i agree with all who said that it is very important to hear from boys/young men about their experiences and how they see things. It really helps me understand what our sons experience every day. It brings us closer and is a big help in trying to solve problems.

river commented on 13-Apr-2010 12:17 PM

hey i just discovered you tyler... i like what you write and how you write... very true

How I Became This, Part 3

Thursday, March 25, 2010

By Tyler

So, a few years later now, and I have undergone a transformation. I am no longer afraid of fighting; I now see violence not as something bad in and of itself, but a means to an end... I also have been labeled as having an anger problem and have been forced to see the school counselor a few times. (Story for another time.) More

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Joanne commented on 25-Mar-2010 11:56 AM

Very interesting observation about bullies testing social waters by fighting. Perhaps kids are just more honest!

anonny commented on 25-Mar-2010 07:48 PM

Yup, the war to end all wars. We've all been hoping for that.

Erick commented on 25-Mar-2010 08:24 PM

I'm afraid this is too true.

mom from denver commented on 25-Mar-2010 08:31 PM

Thanks for being so honest Tyler. We really need to hear things from the kids' perspective. Unfortunately not all young people are as articulate as Tyler.

anon too commented on 25-Mar-2010 08:46 PM

This sounds terrible that you have to be violent to get respect. It's depressing. Are we supposed to just accept that this the way things are and no other way is possible? I don't want to accept that. I appreciate your honesty Tyler but do you still think violence is the only thing that gets results? Then what's the difference between you and the bullies? I know, you're going to say self defence or that you don't initiate violence, but still you engage in it. Do you still think this is the only way to react? I don't mean to blame you at all. It just depresses me.

Kathy commented on 25-Mar-2010 10:58 PM

So bullying is a kind of socializing!!! Talk about dysfunctional...!!!

TSE commented on 26-Mar-2010 05:11 PM

No feedback was left by this visitor.

TSE commented on 26-Mar-2010 05:13 PM

Very good blog. I agree with your observations. Yes it is depressing.

Tyler commented on 26-Mar-2010 11:20 PM

@Anon too: it I tried to knock your teeth out, would you defend yourself?

Oh, you would? Then, by your logic, you're just as bad as me.

You want the difference between me and the bullies? Here it is: they fought for power and I fought for the privilege of not getting the shit beat out of me every day.

How I Became This, Part 2

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

By Tyler

Fast forward a few years, and find a first grader. He is doing well in school because his parents have already taught him most of what he is supposed to be learning. He has no problems at home. However, he gets in fights all the time. He gets in confrontations almost once a day and comes to blows with someone at least once every two weeks. More

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anonny commented on 16-Mar-2010 01:35 PM

Tell 'em like it is, Tyler! You're a fine specimen.

hs01 commented on 16-Mar-2010 01:45 PM

I am so impressed with you Tyler. You are not only bright and perceptive but also brave to be so plain spoken. And did I mention you're a good writer too? A very handy combination!!!

Katie commented on 16-Mar-2010 03:26 PM

Another excellent installment. I wonder if any school officials are interested to hear from young men like you?

Tetrachord commented on 17-Mar-2010 09:15 AM

Very interesting. This is the kind of honest stuff we need to hear. Thanks Tyler. You are very talented.

Christine commented on 17-Mar-2010 11:18 AM

What a great story! Thank you for sharing this. It's so good to hear it from a kid's perspective. This is what it feels like. Wow.

Joanne commented on 17-Mar-2010 12:11 PM

Another great one Tyler. Thanks on behalf of lots of moms.

Jody commented on 17-Mar-2010 12:34 PM

This really makes you feel how kids feel. You are right Tyler. This is very serious and adults must take bullying very seriously. I hoe teachers are reading this.

Anonymous commented on 17-Mar-2010 03:11 PM

It's hard for adults to imagine all this. We must have forgotten all about our own experience. Than you for telling the truth.

Richard commented on 18-Mar-2010 02:00 PM

We've all been there but guys aren't really allowed to talk about it like it is. We don't say anything and then it comes to blows and like Tyler says it works. Well sometimes, at least!

Tyler commented on 19-Mar-2010 12:49 AM

... no.

Clara commented on 19-Mar-2010 09:42 AM

You mean it always works, Tyler?!

Kelly NY commented on 20-Mar-2010 10:23 AM

Well, whatever you have become sure ain't so bad kid! I think you are just too smart to have turned really bad even if you had stayed in school. Just a thought!

Rasta too commented on 20-Mar-2010 02:00 PM

You tell the truth Tyler. Good luck to you.

Tyler commented on 21-Mar-2010 06:48 PM

It may work out, like Richard said, yeah, but it never works out /well/ when it comes to things like this.

How I Became This, Part 1

Monday, March 08, 2010

By Tyler, age 19

I honestly feel as if I have lived two lives. More

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Clara commented on 08-Mar-2010 10:24 AM

Probably the best piece on this site ever! The observation about the abyss gazing into you is brilliant. You are one hell of a budding writer, Tyler.

Katie Rob commented on 08-Mar-2010 01:07 PM

What a great piece. Can't wait to read the rest. You are a great guy Tyler.

Anonymous commented on 08-Mar-2010 01:21 PM

All power to you, Tyler. I hope someday to read a book by you.

Chris commented on 08-Mar-2010 07:08 PM

Holy smoke, kid! You got it right. You're right on a lot of things but I won't enumerate one by one. You just got it right!

Vicki commented on 08-Mar-2010 07:24 PM

You are a brilliant young man.

Suz commented on 09-Mar-2010 06:13 AM

Thanks for sharing your very own poignant example of The War on Kids.

from Maine commented on 09-Mar-2010 09:14 AM

Thank you for such a perceptive and well written article. I am glad you escpaed from these "hellhole" schools whole. Good for you and for your family. You are a very smart young man and I wish you lots of success.

anoon commented on 09-Mar-2010 10:25 AM

Wow, this is such a good piece. Can't wait for more. I hope there are many more parts to this article!

Joanne commented on 10-Mar-2010 09:14 AM

Your observations are absolutely right Tyler. Intelliget and articulate boys/young men are exactly the people we need to be hearing from. I have no idea who comes on this site but I hope some of the people who do are the people who need to be hearing fom boys like Tyler.

anonny commented on 10-Mar-2010 10:46 AM

A breath of fresh air.

Timorthy G commented on 10-Mar-2010 11:25 AM

Excellent article. Keep it coming.

Anonymous commented on 11-Mar-2010 11:38 AM

We definitely need to hear from the boys themselves. Great writing Tyler.

Kate commented on 11-Mar-2010 03:41 PM

You are very lucky!

Jack Oakley commented on 11-Mar-2010 06:39 PM

This is horrifying and funny both—not easy to do. What you have, Mr. Tyler, is a deep sense of humor.

Boy, I tell you, it seems like this place is going to the dogs. Of course, people in general have never been kind and gentle; they tend to look after themselves first. But there have always been and are ever more, though a smallish number, people who do care for each other. I think that cooperation is a human trait, too, that evolved as an aid to survival. And I think that there has been progress in compassion. But there is sure a big number of bullies.

And some societies are better than others. This one is very militaristic these days; look at organized sports, for example—training kids in competition and aggression. Look at any number of things (which I don’t feel like doing right now).

Thank you for writing. I'm looking forward to the next installment.

Jody T commented on 13-Mar-2010 09:34 AM

Wow, this is eye-opening. I totally agree that we need to hear from young men like this. Thank you Tyler. You are not just smart but brave.

Suryian commented on 13-Mar-2010 03:02 PM

Tyler's story shows how we are shaped by our environment, and how he could have gone in a destructive direction if his parents had not taken the difficult decision to remove him from our increasingly dysfunctional public school system. I am curious for the rest of his story!

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Socialization Worries

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

By Denny Mather

People always ask, "What about socialization in home school?" Ha! One reason Vincent hated public school was the other kids. You didn't hear me saying the F word at home. You didn't see us cheating at games, nor did we have class punishment. He wasn't getting beaten up on the playground.
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Back in Time

Monday, November 23, 2009

By Denny Mather
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Clara commented on 23-Nov-2009 12:12 PM

It's interesting that my kid got the bad boy label in second grade too. Maybe that's the time that kids are supposed to "grow up" and conform -- or else...

Sylvie commented on 23-Nov-2009 12:16 PM

Boys get a lot of mixed messages. The whole culture teaches them to "be a man" and fight for what's right and especially defend yourself ("don't be a wimp")and others against attacks, and then when they do it they get punished.

Annabel commented on 24-Nov-2009 12:55 PM

Thanks for these blogs, they are really interesting. You always wonder about why people decide to home school and what it's like.

ts36 commented on 29-Nov-2009 03:15 PM

People talk about "anger management problems" as if managing your anger is such an easy, piece of cake thing. I mean, everybody has anger management problems. Kids are blamed for not being able to "manage" their anger as if the adults so good at it. So smug.

Jackie commented on 29-Nov-2009 04:33 PM

Boy, it makes me mad the way they try to intimidate parents at school by dealing with them individually, by not naming names, by not telling the whole story. And it makes me mad how their first reaction is to call in the shrinks! The idea is to make you think there's something wrong with your kid.

I want to compliment you on your handling of the matter. It sounds like you acted reasonably and calmly. You talked to your son and got information from someone else, and the advice you gave your son was good.

Thanks for acting rationally!

By the way, this idea of punishing boys by taking away recess priveleges is awful. Boys need to run around and get away from the structure of the classroom.

Lilly commented on 29-Nov-2009 05:32 PM

True, by calling in the "shrinks" it looks like they are saying there is something wrong with your kid. But my experience has been that when "shrinks" get involved they usually sympathize with the kid rather than quickly label them. In fact, I've used "shrinks" to fight off the labels that the teachers and schools are so good at throwing around.

The First Year

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

By Denny Mather

Sumtown has a fairly organized group of people who home school. When we started there was a newsletter we could subscribe to that listed events, classes, sports, and odds and ends. There was a potluck listed for that weekend so Vincent and I made plans to attend. More

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Classrooms everywhere!

Monday, November 09, 2009

By Denny Mather
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Comments

sophie commented on 10-Nov-2009 09:51 AM

Thank you for these articles, Denny. Very enlightening. I loved your comment about the college students looking happier than the little kids going to school. I think this is a very important point. Maybe we should learn something from it. Does it have to do with real education being less boring than what kids end up doing in school all day? I'm going to think about this.

LSG commented on 10-Nov-2009 02:43 PM

I really like your articles. I always wondered about home schooling. Can you recommend a chat group or something on homeschooling?

denny commented on 12-Nov-2009 04:56 AM

LSG: thank you. I'll try to answer any questions but don't know of a particular chat room. Sorry

HS01 commented on 12-Nov-2009 05:05 PM

The trouble is the average teacher is too little educated him/herself to teach anyone. And he/she is too harassed and under appreciated to have any motivation to get more education.

SuzieT commented on 13-Nov-2009 09:47 AM

I just saw these articles. Thanks for sharing these stories because I've always wondered what home schooling is like. I'm really curious how kids make friends if they don't go to school.

Clara commented on 13-Nov-2009 09:53 AM

I can relate to the observation that college students look happier than elementary school kids. I also agree that it probably has something to do with kids being happier when they are learning real stuff. In fact, didn't Denny mention that she taught her son from college books? I really don't understand why we have to make babyfood out of subjects in order to teach them to children.

Dan commented on 14-Nov-2009 04:00 PM

You're a great mom, Clara-- I can tell.

Dan commented on 14-Nov-2009 04:02 PM

I meant Denny

Dan commented on 14-Nov-2009 04:04 PM

But you too, Clara

Clara commented on 14-Nov-2009 07:03 PM

Thank you Dan, but I think Jeanne is a more exemplary mom than I am!

Getting Started

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

By Denny Mather

First off, I'd like to make it really clear that I have total respect for most teachers. They have a hard job, raising your kids! It takes a lot of dedication, preparation and education. The No Child Left Behind fiasco made it even harder for teachers to do what they are supposed to: TEACH!! The system works for most people and I applaud the effort. More

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